Deep Dark (2015)

“If you had a hand, i’d shake it.”

For those of you who have already seen Deep Dark, you’re probably looking up reviews to see if other people thought this movie was just as odd as you thought it was. Let me clear up any doubt you might have; Deep Dark is very, very bizarre. I think the first words that came out of my mouth at the end when the credits started to roll were: “what the hell?” This is one of the hardest reviews to write, because I’m at an absolute loss for words.

The movie itself wasn’t terrible- but it wasn’t great either. Directed by Michael Medaglia, who isn’t really known for anything that great, and starring Sean McGrath, Anne Sorce, Monica Graves, and Denise Poirier as “the hole”. Is it a horror film, maybe? Is it a thriller or fantasy, not really? What genre does this fall under? I’m not quite sure, but when the antagonist is a hole in the wall, talks with a sensual voice, and craves sexual attention- you start to think maybe this is a porno.

Hermann Haig (Sean McGrath) is your traditional starving artist living in his mom’s basement. Ever since he was adeep-dark-poster child, Hermann knew that he was going to be a great artist, or so he says. Is he a painter, or a sculptor? No. He makes mobiles. If you’re not exactly sure what a mobile is, it’s a decorative structure that’s suspended in the air. Well, Hermann’s art sucks, and nobody wants to give him or is mobile’s the time of day. Out of desperation he makes a call to his uncle, who apparently IS a successful artist, to get some advice. Hermann’s uncle tells him to move into a studio apartment that he himself lived in. Apparently the apartment is going to give Hermann the inspiration he needs to succeed.

When Hermann moves to the apartment, it’s a dump. I think his uncle was trying to charge him 800 bucks a month to live there… anyway, Hermann goes right to work. After a few failed pieces, he decides cutting off his fingers is a better alternative than to continue making crappy art. But at the last possible moment, he notices a string coming out of a hole in the wall. When he tugs on it, he finds little rolled up notes… I won’t go into too much detail about this, because i’m getting into dangerous spoiler territory. Maybe I’ve explained too much already.

To wrap up, and to leave you confused, curious, and maybe even wanting to see this movie for yourself, here are a few things I don’t understand: What the hell are those grape things that come out of the wall? Why do those grapes make Hermann’s art better (the mobiles still look dumb), and why did Layla (Monica Graves) put on Hermanns speed stick deodorant (arguably the scariest part the whole movie)?

 

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